13 April

Apr. 13th, 2011 01:36 pm
abendgules: (Default)
[personal profile] abendgules
After a week in CCU, my dad died this morning, shortly after Mum and I arrived at the hospital.

Mum and I had met yesterday with the intensive care specialist who'd reviewed Dad's history. With the long history of asthma, emphysema and COPD, Dad's chances of recovering to go home were poor; he'd likely be hospitalized with breathing support indefinitely, and would be very restricted.

MD asked if we thought he'd want that, and we said no. So we agreed on comfort measures; removing the ventilator but providing O2 support, pain relief, and hydration, but DNR. The MD's experience was that Dad would pass within a day or two. He would not be awake to struggle for breath (the most terrifying experience for him) and he wouldn't be in pain.

The vent was removed last night, and his breathing slowed and grew more irregular. We visited at midnight, when the nurse called to say his breathing had changed, but went home at 2.30, and then showed up shortly after 9am, after another call to say his breathing was changing again.

I'm very glad we had a painless option for the end of Dad's life. But you don't ever want to see someone die this way. I'm going to be a right bastard towards any smokers from now on.

Date: 2011-04-13 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bernina2000de.livejournal.com
I am so sorry. No words will help but I truly am.

Date: 2011-04-13 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] my-stitching.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear of you father's passing. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Date: 2011-04-13 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] edith-hedingham.livejournal.com
oh I am so sorry to hear that, please let me know if there is anything I can do.

Thinking of you and the family.

Date: 2011-04-13 06:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kirieldp.livejournal.com
I am so sorry to hear of your dad's passing, but I am glad you made the decision to fly over and be there. If there is anything I can do to help you and your family, please do let me know.

Date: 2011-04-13 06:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ormsweird.livejournal.com
Sorry for your loss, our thoughts are with you.

Date: 2011-04-13 06:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aryanhwy.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry for your loss. My sympathies to you and your mother, and all your family.

Date: 2011-04-13 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suelet.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry.
I'm glad you were there, and are there for your Mum.

Date: 2011-04-13 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zmiya-san.livejournal.com
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking of you.

Date: 2011-04-13 06:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elfie-chan.livejournal.com
I am so sorry.

Date: 2011-04-13 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frrsawyer.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear the news but so glad that you were able to be with him at the end. Hugs.

Date: 2011-04-13 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolverine-nun.livejournal.com
My father died in 2004 of pulmonary fibrosis. I have learned to live around the hole his death left in my life. My thoughts are with you.

Date: 2011-04-13 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ethnowoman.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I suppose the best that can be said is that he's not suffering any more, and your mom has some measure of her life back. Wish your trip home could have been under more cheerful circumstances.

Date: 2011-04-13 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] exmoor-cat.livejournal.com
Sorry to hear, but solace in a peaceable passing.

Date: 2011-04-13 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thorngrove.livejournal.com
My deepest sympathies. [hugs]

Date: 2011-04-13 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cortejo.livejournal.com
I am so sorry for your loss.

Date: 2011-04-13 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] con-girl.livejournal.com
I'm glad that you decided to go when you did. Hugs. And more hugs and sympathy and if only I were close enough to do something useful, I would.

Date: 2011-04-14 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talontytar.livejournal.com
I am so sorry to hear this- many of us are at the same stage as you-dealing with aging parents. It's not easy.

Hugs.

Date: 2011-04-14 03:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] larmer.livejournal.com
Elizabeth I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

Date: 2011-04-14 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acorngirl.livejournal.com
Losing a parent is never easy, but I'm glad about two things: you got to see your dad before he died and he's no longer suffering. My thoughts are with you and your mum through these first difficult days. Take good care of yourselves. *Hugs*

Date: 2011-04-14 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceinwyn77.livejournal.com
So sorry to hear that, hugs xxxxx

Date: 2011-04-14 05:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starmadeshadow.livejournal.com
So sorry. Thinking of you. Hugs.

Date: 2011-04-14 05:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merlyn-gabriel.livejournal.com
I am so sorry to hear this. hugs.

Date: 2011-04-14 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vizi.livejournal.com
I am sorry to hear of your loss.

Kia Kaha

(stay strong)

Date: 2011-04-14 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liadethornegge.livejournal.com
My sympathies. Hopefully it will be a comfort to know that you were able to be there at the end.

Date: 2011-04-14 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pogbody.livejournal.com
This is rotten news. I was so hoping that you would post about him getting better! I am glad you were with him and that his passing was peaceful.

I hope that peace of mind comes to you and your Mum soon.

Hugs

Date: 2011-04-14 04:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buttongirl.livejournal.com
I am so so sorry for your loss. I know your relationship with your Dad had it's ups and downs, but it must be so hard to have it end. Biggest hugs to you and your Mum. I don't know that we can make it to TO, but I will talk to Green...

Date: 2011-04-15 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] basal-surge.livejournal.com
My sincere condolences. We lost a grandfather to smoking derived emphysema, and it's not a thing I would wish on anyone.

Date: 2011-04-17 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] self-serve.livejournal.com
So sorry for your loss.

Date: 2011-04-18 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aylwin101.livejournal.com
My deepest sympathies and condolences.

As someone whose mother who died from emphysema I feel I know exactly what you're going through at the moment.

Take good care of yourself.

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