An electronic salon discussion

Sticky note, til Raglen ffair:

          For peradventure in all Italy a man shall have muche a do to fynde out so many gentlemen and noble personages that are so worthy, and besyde the principall profession of Chivalrye so excellent in sundry thinges, as are presently here.

          Therfore if in any place men may be founde that deserve the name of good Courtyers, and can judge what belongeth to the perfeccion of Courtyership, by reason a man may beleve them to be here.

          To disgrace therefore many untowardly asseheades, that through malepertnes thinke to purchase them the name of a good Courtyer, I would have suche a pastime for this night, that one of the company myght bee picked out who should take in hand to shape in woordes a good Courtyer, specifying all suche condicions and particuler qualities, as of necessitie must be in hym that deserveth this name. And in suche thinges as shall not appere necessarie, as of necessitie must be in hym that deserveth against them, as the maner of Philosophers schooles is against him that kepeth disputacions.

From Castiglione's Book of the Courtier

( Invitation follows )

Sooper-seekrit peerage stuff - I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours...

So in light of my vigil coming up in a few weeks, I've started asking people, 'what is the super-secret peerage knowledge you pass on to people at vigils?'

For a long time I attended vigils simply to congratulate candidates and wish them well - I didn't have anything to tell them that they didn't already know, and I wanted them to know I was happy for them.

Now, I have some comments, and I'm going to be so bold as to post them here, even though there's no vigil to attend at the moment.

• Keep doing what you're doing: don't take on more to somehow prove 'worthy' of your elevation. The crown and peers (in some combination acc' to your kingdom's custom) have decided to offer you the accolade based on what you already do.
• Don't rush into any new projects, or any new personal commitments, including household members. Take time to consider how your new status may change your game. It won't change it much for your friends who know you, but new people will treat you differently. Decide how you want to deal with that. Decide what a household means to you, and what you want to do with it.
• Fealty, as I understand it, is a contract, and ensures two-way communication. You agree to advise the Crown, and they agree to listen. It does not guarantee anyone will follow your advice, but you're promised airtime, so to speak. Use it wisely.

SO: given the chance, what general stuff do you tell prospective peers at their vigils? I want to hear it, and I'm happy to hear from (just about) anyone. I'm thinking mostly of what you'd tell every peer, as opposed to a personal friend.

If you don't want to post your advice publicly feel free to drop me a line...but part of my reason for asking is that there's lots of stuff I've learned, in a very short time, that I wish someone had told me sooner.