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Back in Thamesreach, back at work
May. 6th, 2011 11:55 am ...mostly back to normal, for a given value of normal.
Mostly I feel...subdued, like I've lost an edge of sharpness that I usually have. It feels almost inappropriate to be fully 'back to normal', so I can't say if this state is one I've adopted because part of me thinks I ought to be subdued shortly after a death, or if this is my actual state.
I caught myself this week, when someone (who didn't know of Dad) said in the usual social fashion, 'how've you been?' and I chirped, 'Fine thanks!' in the typical, routine, social pleasantry only mode. I then stopped and said, well, actually, fair to middlin' which is the more honest answer, and proceeded to explain.
I don't want to make a big production of having recently lost a parent; I'm not cruising round my acquaintances in search of tea and sympathy; but I want to remain as truthful as I can. If you ask the question, I'll give you the answer.
Oddly, at the moment, I don't feel as low as I've sometimes felt for other reasons (all of last fall comes to mind). I still want to make things like scrolls and clothing. I still want to go to Double Wars, learn fencing, read books. I just suspect it will take me longer to do these things than usual.
Mostly I feel...subdued, like I've lost an edge of sharpness that I usually have. It feels almost inappropriate to be fully 'back to normal', so I can't say if this state is one I've adopted because part of me thinks I ought to be subdued shortly after a death, or if this is my actual state.
I caught myself this week, when someone (who didn't know of Dad) said in the usual social fashion, 'how've you been?' and I chirped, 'Fine thanks!' in the typical, routine, social pleasantry only mode. I then stopped and said, well, actually, fair to middlin' which is the more honest answer, and proceeded to explain.
I don't want to make a big production of having recently lost a parent; I'm not cruising round my acquaintances in search of tea and sympathy; but I want to remain as truthful as I can. If you ask the question, I'll give you the answer.
Oddly, at the moment, I don't feel as low as I've sometimes felt for other reasons (all of last fall comes to mind). I still want to make things like scrolls and clothing. I still want to go to Double Wars, learn fencing, read books. I just suspect it will take me longer to do these things than usual.
